Thursday, 11 June 2009

  • milestones and the fulfillment of childhood dreams

    JANIE TOOK A STEP TODAY!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is going entirely too fast! i arrived at amber's to pick them up and she let go of the chair and took a step to me...::sigh:: the times, they are a changin'!

    also today, kev and celebrate the big 0-4 anniversary! and i'm not sure if i mentioned this before...but a few weeks ago i tried on my dress. it still fits!!

    remember playing candy land as a kid? i'm sure a lot of girls out there can relate to me when i say all i wanted in life was to grow up to be princess frostine of snow flake lake. kev and i recently bought candy land for elias and we played it tonight for the first time. he pointed to the princess and said "that you, mommy" -- i'll be happy forever thinking of that moment (he also pointed the little black boy and said, "that me" even though there was a blond one right below him...)

Monday, 11 May 2009

  • open letter to fairyland


    i have been a big ball of tension the past couple of days. the faeries have stolen my wonderfully behaved, charming, toddler boy. in his place is a rascally scoundrel who tests every limit of my patience.

    oberon? titania? please give him back.


    thank you.


Wednesday, 18 February 2009

  • surprise! (or, why i shouldn't be in charge of surprising people)

    since christmas, i have been planning a trip to chicago to surprise my sister for her birthday in july. i have gotten several people in on the surprise and sent out e-mails entitled, "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

     

    i should have read my own writing.

     

    today i got a message on facebook from a cousin regarding a trip. another cousin responded to the thread that june or july would be good. i responded that i was going to chicago in july, but to let me know when they wanted to go and i'd see if i could work something out to get the extra time off. i hit reply all.

     

    that's when i decided to check who the "all" in "reply all" was.

    that's when i saw my sister's name on the list of recipients.

     

    did you know that facebook doesn't let you retract message posted to a thread?

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

  • you're older than you've ever been . . . and now you're even older.

    i have always looked forward to being an old woman with a face full of wrinkles. my wrinkles would tell my life story -- there would be more laugh lines than stress lines.

    the event would unfold like this: i would wake up and stretch out in my bed around my 60th birthday. i would get out of bed and notice that my knees ached a little. i would trudge to the bathroom to brush my teeth and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. for the very first time, i would see a wrinkled, wizened, awesome grandma.

    last night i realized that it won't happen that way. i will age. i am aging. it's a slow, agonizing process.

    (i know, this is ridiculous coming from a 24 year old in good health; but i have children and they remind me that time is passing by at breakneck speed.)

    i already see the effect time is having on my body: small lines on my face, my chin is getting round.the "lambeth" jowls are definitely visible from certain angles. it's weird to know i don't look the way i used to. i don't look the way i did a few months ago. i'm getting saggy and soft.

    sometimes i want my body to go back to the way it was.

    sometimes i don't. some of changes are marks of significant events: stretch marks from carrying the 2 loves of my life, the tattoo i love, etc.

    the main problem is that i want to look young until i'm fully old. i want to look the age i feel -- not the age i am.

    i want to look like i'm 19 and adventurous. -- i'm actually 24 and a homebody.

    i want people to see me with my kids and assume i'm just an affectionate baby sitter. i want people to be shocked when elias calls me "mom-mom" -- but i look exactly like what i am: a twenty-something married mother, fully responsible for her kids.

    ...

    who's slowly becoming old.

Tuesday, 30 December 2008

  • ringing out the old!

    1) Where did you begin 2008?
    not sure, probably at home talking about the fact that i was totally knocked up.

    2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
    pregnant and already showing...

    3) Were you in school anytime this year?
    bradley childbirth classes 

    4) How did you earn your money?
    classified advertising!!

    5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
    yes, in order to welcome janie into the world. :)

    6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
    i got pulled over and would normally have recieved a ticket, but i was 8 months along and i'm pretty sure he assumed i was on the way somewhere important.

    7) Where did you go on vacation (holiday)?
    colorado for denise's wedding 

    8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
    a hospital room for 2 days and the services of a doctor and staff of nurses.

    9) Did you know anybody who got married?
    denise and aaron

    10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
    not personally. (well...george the beta)

    12) Did you move anywhere?
    not this year!

    14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
    i think the only show i saw was to kill a mockingbird down in KC -- how HORRIBLE!! (not the show, the fact that i only saw ONE!)

    15) Describe your favorite month in 2008
    definitely september. i got to get to know my little girl and spend some quality time with my little boy. i have two seriously amazing kids.

    16) Describe your worst month in 2008
    i was pretty cranky the entire month of august, until the 25th that is.

    17) Where do you live now?
    st joe, mo

    18) Describe your birthday.
    i woke up and my mommy made breakfast for everyone. i opened gifts, went shopping and hung out with fam.

    19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2008?
    i'm totally a lame-a-zoid! i can't think of a single thing.

    20) What has been your favorite moment?
    meeting my sweet jane for the first time; the first time she smiled; hearing her laugh; all the little moments watching elias grow from a baby into a little boy; elias yelling "go cubs!" over and over while running in circles; "2 M's!"; realizing that marriage really does get better every year -- even though sometimes it's the hardest thing i've ever done. 

    21) What's something you learned about yourself?
    i am paying for every obstinate thing i've ever did to my parents -- i'm raising elias.

    22) Any new additions to your family?
    JANIE! the sweetest, most beautiful, wonderful bundle of goodness. also, logan and by marriage: aaron, elle and cameron.

    23.) What was your favorite tv show?
    gossip girl

    24.) What music will you remember 2008 by?
    DAVID COOK (and the veggie tales version of "blessed be your name")

    26) Made new friends?
    Yep!

    27) New best friend?
    janie

    28) Favorite Night Out?
    hanging out with nigel and tina and joey when we went to IN to meet little logan.

    29) Where do you plan to end the year?
    at home with my honey talking about how i'm totally NOT knocked up

    30) Any regrets in 2008?
    none. 

    31) What do you hope 2009 brings?
    no pregnancies, lol.
    Currently
    Friends - The Complete Eighth Season
    By Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry
    see related

Friday, 19 December 2008

  • in the spirit of optimism

    -- my sidder is flying in tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    -- that's all for now.

  • in the spirit of pessimism...

    -- I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE USE ALL CAPS TO WRITE ON MESSAGE BOARDS. IT NOT ONLY MAKES THEM SOUND PERPETUALLY ANGRY, BUT IT ALSO MAKES THEM APPEAR STUPID. ALSO, SPELLING AND GRAMMAR ERRORS SEEM MORE PRONOUNCED. I HATE CAPS LOCK TYPERS.

    -- i wish compassion and empathy were virtues more people strove to embody.

    -- ice sucks.

    -- it's very cold at work today.

    -- the color yellow makes me look ill...but i like yellow. i want a yellow coat. if i get one i will be known as the very sick girl in the yellow coat.

    -- walmart within 10 days of Christmas is a bad idea.

    -- i have to go to walmart this weekend.

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

  • janie rolled over last night!!!

    it was awesome -- from her tummy to her back. she did it like 4 times in a row. tonight i laid her on her tummy and she just looked around and talk to elias; there wasn't even an attempt at a roll. ::sigh::

    also, my dad is awesome. he snuck over and shoveled our walk and driveway before i got home tonight...

Monday, 15 December 2008

  • does anyone take the time to read all the way through these??

    1. Started your own blog- xanga, facebook, myspace, livejournal, diaryland
    2. Slept under the stars- not that i know of...
    3. Played in a band- worship band? does choir count?
    4. Visited Hawaii - i wish!
    5. Watched a meteor shower - nope
    6. Given more than you can afford to charity- yes
    7. Been to Disneyland - nope -- just disney world
    8. Climbed a mountain- does chitzen itza count?
    9. Held a praying mantis- no...gross.
    10. Sang a solo- yes "ancient mother....i hear you calling...."
    11. Bungee jumped- no!
    12. Visited Paris - someday...
    13. Watched a lightning storm- yes. not by choice, i spend most storms in the basement. under a blanket under a futon on a toddler mattress with a flashlight and phone and the kiddlings all in my arms.
    14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - nope
    15. Adopted a child - ummm....not really.
    16. Had food poisoning - yes.
    17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - i wanna visit NYC
    18. Grown your own vegetables- yes
    19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - nope
    20. Slept on an overnight train- nope
    21. Had a pillow fight- yep
    22. Hitch hiked - no, that's dangerous. (mike, i'm surprised you got a ride. i would have assumed you were an ax murderer -- no offense.)
    23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill- duh.
    24. Built a snow fort- yes
    25. Held a lamb- no
    26. Gone skinny dipping- hahaha
    27. Run a Marathon - LOLOLOL
    28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - no...i want to, though!
    29. Seen a total eclipse- yeppers
    30. Watched a sunrise or sunset- both
    31. Hit a home run- no :-p
    32. Been on a cruise - nope
    33. Seen Niagara Falls in person- nope
    34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors- what? missouri or mesopotamia?
    35. Seen an Amish community- yes
    36. Taught yourself a new language- not really.
    37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied- i should be satisifed with enough money to feed and clothe our family. should.
    38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person- yes, there was one outside the Y where i guarded and swam.
    39. Gone rock climbing- LOVE IT!
    40. Seen Michelangelo’s David - in pictures
    41. Sung karaoke- yes
    42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt- on youtube
    43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant- no
    44. Visited Africa- no. i miss jules, julie, julia, keith and kenny.
    45. Walked on a beach by moonlight- in mexico.
    46. Been transported in an ambulance - nope (kevin says that i should have been when i wrecked my bike, but he is going on the testimony of my mother who assumes anyone who has any symptoms is dying.)
    47. Had your portrait painted - yes
    48. Gone deep sea fishing - no?
    49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - no (i feel like a lot of these questions could be combined -- ever been to europe? no.)
    50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - ::sigh::
    51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - yes!
    52. Kissed in the rain - yes.
    53. Played in the mud- heck yes!
    54. Gone to a drive-in theater- alas, alack, no.
    55. Been in a movie- so i tried to write out lots of clever ways to say "only home movies" but they all sounded dirty and now even "only home movies" even sounds dirty.
    56. Visited the Great Wall of China - if you are reading this, leave a comment.
    57. Started a business - sort of
    58. Taken a martial arts class - no
    59. Visited Russia - no
    60. Served at a soup kitchen- yes 
    61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies- no
    62. Gone whale watching - no
    63. Got flowers for no reason- KEVIN. FIX THIS ANSWER: no.
    64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma- yes
    65. Gone sky diving- i want to!
    66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp- no
    67. Bounced a check in college- why is it not just "bounced a check"?
    68. Flown in a helicopter- no
    69. Saved a favorite childhood toy- yes
    70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial- nope
    71. Eaten caviar - nope
    72. Pieced a quilt - nope, don't know *exactly* what that means
    73. Stood in Times Square - i wanna visit NYC!!
    74. Toured the Everglades- no
    75. Been fired from a job- nope
    76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London- no
    77. Broken a bone- yes. a few.
    78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - yes! thanks, dad!
    79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - yes, from a plane.
    80. Published a book- nope
    81. Visited the Vatican- no
    82. Bought a brand new car- nope
    83. Walked in Jerusalem- nope
    84. Had your picture in the newspaper- yes
    85. Read the entire Bible - yes
    86. Visited the White House- no
    87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating- gross. gross, gross, gross.
    88. Had chickenpox- yes
    89. Saved someone’s life - yes
    90. Sat on a jury- nope
    91. Met someone famous- lenny!
    92. Joined a book club- no
    93. Lost a loved one- yes
    94. Had a baby- 2!
    95. Seen the Alamo in person- no
    96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake- nope
    97. Been involved in a law suit- no
    98. Owned a mobile phone- if you have never or do not currently own a mobile phone, please leave a comment.
    99. Been stung by a bee- yes
    100. Read an entire book in one day- more than once.

    that was dumb. sorry if you read it all.

Tuesday, 09 December 2008

  • stuff that's been going on

    i used to have big dreams. i used to have big plans. i used to have what i thought were definite plans. then God laughed.

    when i heard God laugh, i let go of my plans -- this was a good thing.

    i also let go of my dreams -- this is NOT a good thing.

    God may laugh at our plans, but i believe He is glorified in our ability to dream.

    at church a girl said that she saw someone carrying heavy bags trying to wade in a river. when the person fell in the water the current picked them up and carried them away and the person was filled with joy from the exhilaration of just being carried away.

    that morning i told jeff that i felt weighted down by life -- like i lost the ability to dream in process the living of life.

    i need to just let the current carry me and my bags. i need to be filled with joy. i need to realize that the ride can be exhilarating again.

    i need to DREAM BIG again.

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cryingout

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About Me

  • I am a wife and mom! my husband is the most handsome and my son the most beautiful and the baby on the way s the sweetest. i am beyond blessed . . .